Top 6 Excrement Exit Travellers You Meet

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Top Excrementors

Travel isn’t always amazing, it’s certainly not to be classed as “super” and it doesn’t make your life “richer ” as some excrement exits claim. I travelled for so long I stopped trusting everyone. I found more people to be excrement exits than not. These are the 6 worst types of fellow tourists / travellers you could meet. Be careful who you meet. They could ruin your life. They certainly ruined my life, my dreams, this website and affected some of my friends and family. 🙁

1. Guru Gods
These are the fake wannabes and know it alls of the world. They claim to the biggest, the oldest, the first, the richest etc. Their self centred concoctation of a travel itinerary shines down on you from the stars making you appear like a brown lump of excrement as they “fake sparkle” in nobody’s limelight. Don’t buy into their bull rear end substance. Suss them out early. Name and shame them if need be.

I had to block a nasty “GuruGod” back in October 2016. Outrageously that person still cared about me to continue to stalk and submit their GuruGodness upon me even today. Nastify them and warn others.

2. Liars
Sadly these types of tourists are hard to spot. They hit you with a string of nasty lies, taking advantage of your niceness for their own self gain. Their nasty lies can lead to long term mental torture or suicidal thoughts.

Infamous serial liar “nasty” continues to tell lies while still claiming “We are friends” and stating “no I didn’t lie”. Yes you did. #nastylied

3. Killers
Again killers are so hard to spot. There can be slow killers and fast killers. Fast killers will get you with a gun or a sword and you’ll be dead quickly. The slow killers can be much more dangerous and take you through mental or physical torture.

Unless you’re crackpacking in a mixed dorm, lock your door at night to help prevent the risk of meeting a killer.

Hitler’s Nazis backpacking through Ulica Długa in Gdańsk, Poland in the 1930s

4. Stalkers
Myself and my family and friends were stalked by a tourist wannabe and GuruGod for a period of months. This was already after blocking and banning that excrement exit from my websites and social media. That GuruGod had no ball sack and got angry when I publicised the entire debacle. Lee Adams, my Mum and a brace of Poznańian friends had to also block that nasty GuruGod stalking bum same movement as if you were a windscreen addition.

If you encounter a stalker on your travels, name and shame them. If you have a travel blog even better as you can make it publicly known that their stalkerage is unwelcome.

Stalked by wannabes

5. Tourists who Slag off Backpackers
As a long term backpacker, tourist, visitor and traveller, I try not to judge my fellow tourists too much. However sadly we get judged. I am a backpacker. I backpack. I wear a backpack almost every day. I love walking with a backpack. It means I have my hands free to do whatever I want. I went backpacking through 150+ countries with The Gambia and Senegal being the only two countries that I didn’t backpack through. My excuse for not backpacking that West African brace was that I was on a strict “no luggage challenge” and was banned from backpacking (or even suitcasing) on that trip. I was still a tourist though and I wrote about travelling instead.

Backpacking in Kandovan, Iran

As a long term self confessed wacaday backpacker, I often get slated by fellow tourists who believe backpacking is a bad way to travel. You won’t change me. I love it. I love backpacking, whackpacking, crackpacking, bloodsucking and touristing.

Backpacking in Northern Cyprus. Tourist alert!

However i hate suitcasing and I don’t travel with a suitcase as i want my hands free. That ‘s my main reason for being a backpacker over a suitcaser. I would hate to go suitcasing and suddenly have to use one of my hands to drag a suitcase. But yet suitcasers love to criticise me and look down on me because I had the audacity to backpack it. #touristy #wacaday #whackpacking #backpacker

Backpacking from Mexico to Guatemala at Ciudad Cuauhtemoc.

6.Travel Bloggers with Secretaries
One of my pet hates is when you a backpack to a new hostel and some fellow tourist and travel blogger is hogging the reception desk yelling “I’m a travel blogger. Didn’t you get the email from my Secretary?”

Coffee and blogging in Moscow, Russian Federation

Do things yourself, you only sound like a buck eejit when you claim you’re bigger and better because you fakily employed a secretary.

Real travel bloggers are only that – travellers and bloggers. We go to a place as a tourist and we write about it. It’s that simple. We don’t employ secretaries to take nude selfies of Asians and blog post them to Guatemalans.

Don’t stop living.

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Backpacking in Sapa, Vietnam

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