Sunday’s Inspiration: Your Entire Life By Year In Two Words Per Year

“Fear was the fear of being what we had become” – Highly Likely.

I hate being concise, succinct, slow and ill informed. I love deep thought. I buzz off a puzzle. Which fucking footballer is this? It’s a teaser that took me 3 minutes to compose but it stumped 100,000 football fans for over 6 months.

– I scored goals in English football in the 1980s.
– I scored for my country.
– I scored 2 hat-tricks in the same year once.
– At 2 consecutive clubs, I had a goal per game ratio.
– I was capped by my country in 2 different decades.
– I was left out of my country’s World Cup squad and sadly never won another cap.
– Weirdly, my first cap was also in a World Cup year.
– I was at 2 capital city clubs.
– The first 2 English clubs I was at both have red in their home shirt.
– I played club football in 2 countries that have won the World Cup.
– In the last 10 years of my career, my birth country were in 2 World Cups.
– In one country, I was at 5 clubs.
– In a different country from that, I was at more than 2 clubs.
– I was at clubs beginning with the letters RST.

I thought it was an easy one. Imagine condensing 366 days into 2 words. It’s also easy. I’ve no time for cow excremental “quarter days” or phantom 29th Februarys. What an oddity. Bait Al Baranda.

Jurassic Park – it’s a fillim about dinosaurs!

Can you do it? Yes I can – it was easy. I love couplets. They are extreme writing to the core. We steal from the best.

My Entire Life By Year In Two Words Per Year

So go for it – sum up your entire years by just two words. They don’t have to be connected. Here are the rules.

• Less then 2 words is cheating.
• More than 2 words is cheating.
• Not doing it is cheating.
• Giving up is cheating.
• Apostrophes are acceptable.
• Punctuation is acceptable as part of that word.

1979 – Embryonic Atlantic.
1980 – Ulsteric Arrival.
1981 – Don’t Remember.
1982 – Arconada…Armstrong!
1983 – Chocolate Tank.
1984 – George Orwell.
1985 – Northern Ireland.
1986 – Mexico Whiteside.
1987 – Childhood Sweetheart.
1988 – Weird Wonderful.
1989 – Columba Malo.
1990 – Milla Maradona.
1991 – Moving Goodbyes.
“Oh what happened to you? Whatever happened to me?” – Highly Likely.

1992 – Uninspiring Baileys.
1993 – Teddy Sheringham.
1994 – Exam Heist.
1995 – Empty Seat.
1996 – Champagne Supernova.
1997 – Vicky Everitt.
1998 – Disagreement Crocodile.
1999 – Party Millennium.
2000 – Roadrunner Toothbrush.

“Let’s all meet up in the year 2000, won’t it be strange when we’re all fully grown” – Pulp.

2001 – Nightclub Marathon.
2002 – Finsbury Lark.
2003 – Ulster Cherry.
2004 – Jurassic Park.
2005 – Poland Away.
2006 – Apple Biters.
2007 – Lake Taupo.
2008 – Noemi Noeyou.
2009 – Blueberry Muffinhead.

“Bingo Handjob” – Michael Stipe.

2010 – Barrientos Broccoli.
2011 – Seventh Circle.
2012 – Laotian Lotion.
2013 – Typewriter Centipede.
2014 – Madonna Town.
2015 – Backpacking Centurion.
2016 – Ulsterczyk Gdański.
2017 – No Apologies.
2018 – Zero Sorries.
2019 – In Zaire.
2020 – Mask Loyal.
2021 – Still Happening.

“Time’s running out the door you’re running in” – Echo and the Bunnymen.

That was easy. Maybe all my writing in future should be couplets. Twitter sorted out the twats from the twits, and then called em all tweets. Welcome to 2021.

“We could be reaching out for anything if we try enough” – The Lighthouse Family.

“Anything is possible in my own powerful mind” – The Levellers.