I cant remember who said that, but the line was popular in the early 1990s. And now, it’s time for me to say it about myself. There won’t be any more mister nice guy. Being nice gets you nowhere in life, actually. Girls don’t like nice guys (well maybe they do, as a friend only). You get no thanks and you spend all your money, time and effort helping others to get nothing back. So from now on I’m going to be super selfish.
I have lost a lot of money through the years being the main organiser and volunteer for things. I once lost money on an Oasis ticket when one of my friends decided he would rather study than watch Oasis. I have suffered similar money and effort losses over the years. I have bought football match tickets for friends who never went to the matches. And being able to drive has lost me more money and time than anything else.
Because I’m the volunteer. I have driven friends to football matches in England without having any of them pay for petrol or to give thanks for the time and effort for me to do it. While they sit back and relax, I concentrate my eyes and brain on the road. Yet why is it me, the nice guy who ends up more tired, spending more money, using my time and my effort?? I’ll never know.
I also have volunteered to book many things over the years for myself and others, and while I dont mind most of the time you never get the money or time back. Booking tickets and flights online for example, costs more than the flight. There’s often credit card booking fees, money which you never get back. And your ‘friends’ only give you back the market value. It even happened a lot recently, here in Australia. I booked 3 tickets for a Neighbours tour, with a booking fee of $5. Now it’s hardly going to break the bank, but logic never prevails. It means the person who books it always pays more for the same thing as the ones who sit back, get it booked for them and pay less.
I spent a lot of money on my travel partner, Natalja, though I didn’t even get a “thanks” or even a “happy birthday” from her this year. Is she really that ungrateful, that I forked out money I didn’t have on accomodation and flights, showing her 4 new countries and many a wonderful memory to keep? Moments like that make me sad, I arranged everything, and don’t even get any gratitude. If I didn’t bother I could have a few months holiday for myself paid for!
The one main example which is driving (pun intended) me mad is that I got 2 month driving ban and almost $1,000 in Speeding Fines here in Australia, just 3 months ago. Now it was me driving, so I cannot complain about the fines, but the point is, I was travelling in a car with 3 travel mates. None of whom could be arsed to drive. Two of them dont even have a licence as far as i know. Therefore, I am the mister nice guy. The guy who drove my 3 mates everywhere along the Great Ocean Road. I didn’t get any sleep. I didn’t once complain. I spent more money than my mates. I spent more time than my mates and I gave more effort than my mates. And the only thanks I get is a $1000 speeding fine (which i have to work an entire week at the moment to pay off alone!) and a driving ban. On that particular trip, I got out of the car at one point (around 2 am when we were parked) to go for a piss. When I get back to the car, one of my mates is lying in my driving seat trying to sleep. Absolutely ridiculous! The three of them have all day and night to sleep as they don’t have to drive. There’ll be no more driving people around anymore. It’s gone. Those days are over. People can drive themselves or get public transport.
Of course I’ll never get back the money I’ve spent on other people, and some of it I don’t want back. But from now on, it’s time to be very selfish. It’s the only way to do it. I’ve booked a few trips for myself alone this year, and will continue to do so. Well that is until the love of my life comes back into my life or my kid brother needs something. That is the sublime difference. Love. Love changes everything. And only then, will there be some more “Mr. Nice Guy.”
That’s just how the things are in life. You give bread to someone, and he’ll remember it for the rest of his days, while sparing the life for the other wouldn’t make a difference. Its sad really. But can’t help but think that its just a sequence of people who’s ungrateful. Not all people are like that.