Sunday’s Inspiration: Your Entire Life By Year In Two Words Per Year

“Fear was the fear of being what we had become” – Highly Likely.

I hate being concise, succinct, slow and ill informed. I love deep thought. I buzz off a puzzle. Which fucking footballer is this? It’s a teaser that took me 3 minutes to compose but it stumped 100,000 football fans for over 6 months.

– I scored goals in English football in the 1980s.
– I scored for my country.
– I scored 2 hat-tricks in the same year once.
– At 2 consecutive clubs, I had a goal per game ratio.
– I was capped by my country in 2 different decades.
– I was left out of my country’s World Cup squad and sadly never won another cap.
– Weirdly, my first cap was also in a World Cup year.
– I was at 2 capital city clubs.
– The first 2 English clubs I was at both have red in their home shirt.
– I played club football in 2 countries that have won the World Cup.
– In the last 10 years of my career, my birth country were in 2 World Cups.
– In one country, I was at 5 clubs.
– In a different country from that, I was at more than 2 clubs.
– I was at clubs beginning with the letters RST.

I thought it was an easy one. Imagine condensing 366 days into 2 words. It’s also easy. I’ve no time for cow excremental “quarter days” or phantom 29th Februarys. What an oddity. Bait Al Baranda.

Jurassic Park – it’s a fillim about dinosaurs!

Can you do it? Yes I can – it was easy. I love couplets. They are extreme writing to the core. We steal from the best.

My Entire Life By Year In Two Words Per Year

So go for it – sum up your entire years by just two words. They don’t have to be connected. Here are the rules.

• Less then 2 words is cheating.
• More than 2 words is cheating.
• Not doing it is cheating.
• Giving up is cheating.
• Apostrophes are acceptable.
• Punctuation is acceptable as part of that word.

1979 – Embryonic Atlantic.
1980 – Ulsteric Arrival.
1981 – Don’t Remember.
1982 – Arconada…Armstrong!
1983 – Chocolate Tank.
1984 – George Orwell.
1985 – Northern Ireland.
1986 – Mexico Whiteside.
1987 – Childhood Sweetheart.
1988 – Weird Wonderful.
1989 – Columba Malo.
1990 – Milla Maradona.
1991 – Moving Goodbyes.
“Oh what happened to you? Whatever happened to me?” – Highly Likely.

1992 – Uninspiring Baileys.
1993 – Teddy Sheringham.
1994 – Exam Heist.
1995 – Empty Seat.
1996 – Champagne Supernova.
1997 – Vicky Everitt.
1998 – Disagreement Crocodile.
1999 – Party Millennium.
2000 – Roadrunner Toothbrush.

“Let’s all meet up in the year 2000, won’t it be strange when we’re all fully grown” – Pulp.

2001 – Nightclub Marathon.
2002 – Finsbury Lark.
2003 – Ulster Cherry.
2004 – Jurassic Park.
2005 – Poland Away.
2006 – Apple Biters.
2007 – Lake Taupo.
2008 – Noemi Noeyou.
2009 – Blueberry Muffinhead.

“Bingo Handjob” – Michael Stipe.

2010 – Barrientos Broccoli.
2011 – Seventh Circle.
2012 – Laotian Lotion.
2013 – Typewriter Centipede.
2014 – Starogard Girl.
2015 – Backpacking Centurion.
2016 – Ulsterczyk Gdański.
2017 – No Apologies.
2018 – Zero Sorries.
2019 – In Zaire.
2020 – Mask Loyal.
2021 – Still Happening.
2022 – Dessie Shakesbeer.
2023 – Quantic Carathon.
2024 – Whackpacking Loyal.

“Time’s running out the door you’re running in” – Echo and the Bunnymen.

That was easy. Maybe all my writing in future should be couplets. Twitter sorted out the twats from the twits, and then called em all tweets. X doesn’t exist.

“We could be reaching out for anything if we try enough” – The Lighthouse Family.

“Anything is possible in my own powerful mind” – The Levellers.