Getting Handcuffed and Spanked in the home of Masochism in Lviv, Ukraine
When you are out travelling the world you never know where you will end up next. Every new city or town I arrive in, I do little research. It’s only when you get to these places that you get extra ideas. A couple of my blog followers, Laura and Kyle alerted me of Cafe Masoch in Lviv. I hadn’t heard of it before, but after my jaunt to Lviv, I’d not forget this place, or the bars of Lviv for a while.
Getting Handcuffed and Spanked in the home of Masochism in Lviv, Ukraine
It turns out that Lviv boasts the home of Leopold Rittervon Sacher-Masoch, founder of sexual masochism and from where the word takes its name, Masoch. I was based in the swanky Citadel Inn for a few days and set my eyes on doing some crazy stuff in this city with some lunatic bar visits thrown in, in line with my visits to bars in North Korea, Transylvania (drinking Dracula Blood Beer) and drinking wine in Adammia!
Masoch Cafe, Lviv, Ukraine
The cafe was closed on my first two danders past but third time lucky, after 4pm, it was open. I headed in for a pint of beer. The location is Serbska Street, 7, Lviv, Lviv Oblast, Ukraine near the Old Town Square. It’s easy to find and also has a Masoch Cafe website and is on Facebook.
The menu in MasochThe menu in Masoch
I chose the local beer which was Zenyk and cost 26 Hryvnia (which is $1.1 USD) for 500 ml, so less than a pound a pint!! The menu itself is a stylish chained up heavyweight boarded effort.
The bar is sensual
The bar has a sensual sexy interior dominated by red and black. A sultry waitress serves me in suspenders. Her name is Valeria. After a few sips, I ask to get spanked. She brings a pair of handcuffs over and cuffs me to the chair in the corner. She brandishes a whip, pulls up my shirt to reveal my naked back to a crowd of four. She asks me to say “more” and then whips me hard and good FIVE times. My Japanese travel buddy Ikuma is in hysterics.
Cheers from Masoch Cafe, Lviv
My back has three lengthy red scars on it for the next three days but it was worth it. I love these crazy moments of madness on the backpacking journey.
Sore back? Whipped 5 times in Lviv in a sexy bar.
“These moments of silliness are where I find my heaven” – Gigolo Aunts
Cheers from Cafe Masoch
While in Cafe Masox, I also read the information on the walls and checked out the dildos, breasts and willies scattered around the bar. The bar has two floors including a sexy basement. One to take your lover perhaps.
The man himself – Leopold MasochAround the barAround the barThe basement of the barAround the bar
When we ask for the bills (separate bills for Ikuma and I), they come in women’s sexy clothing! One is in a high heeled shoe, the other in a bra!
Bill in a high heeled shoeBill in a bra
On the way out you can pose by the statue of Masoc. Girls, if you put your hands in his pocket you can feel his willy! Life size for a turn-on though not erect. Even though I am completely straight, I still stuck my hand in for a quick feel as it’s only a statue! No sexual services are offered, this is just for fun!
Information at the entranceLeopold Masoch statueLeopold Masoch and Northern Irish backpacker Jonny BlairLeopold poses with the Northern Ireland flagLeopold Masoch’s willy (in gold replica, non erectI touched Leopold’s willyLeopold’s breasts
So yes – get to Lviv and enjoy the charms of Cafe Masoch. Thanks to the staff for a cool experience. My back has now fully recovered!
Backpacking in Toilets: Top 8 Shights From My Travels
One thing that so called “travellers/tourists (same thing)” have in common with so called “normal people” is that we all go to the toilet. It’s natural to let the yellow juice out or pump out the brown excrement when it gets too much for our bodies to hold in. Yes, backpackers go to the toilet too and even cooler, we do our business in a variety of locations. Though I have never counted the number of toilets I’ve visited, I know it must be over 3,000 down the years. In fact it’s probably more. 5 toilet visits a day to 5 different toilets means a huge number of W.C.s have been visited on my journey. But which ones were the best? Where my number one wee wee? Which toilet was the best to do a shight in? From my journeys so far, these are my personal top 8 toilet experiences. Like them or flush them.
“Go let it out” – Oasis
Whip it and out and start the spray
1.Wee Wee in the World’s Largest Toilet Complex, Chongqing, China
One of the key sights I ticked off in China’s mighty Chongqing was to visit the world’s largest toilet complex. Rather than simply pop in for a quick 30 second urine emission, I actually did a mini tour of urinals and ended up doing three different wee wees in there to sample some of the real culture of this tremendous toilet complex.
I headed to the world’s largest TOILET complex, which is on Foreigner Street in Chongqing.
You can read about my journey to the toilet in Chongqing here, the complex is housed in the crazy 24 hour theme park known as Foreigner Street. This was also one of my favourite pissing experiences and something I recommend doing.
Doing a wee wee in the biggest toilet complex on the planet.
2.Spontaneous Poo Poo in a Broccoli Field in East Sassafras, Australia
This is not strictly an actual toilet, but certainly an excretion experience I won’t forget. East Sassafras is a barely known place, but personally I won’t forget it. Endless days working on broccoli farms were amazing travel times and of course I miss those days. The craziest day was the one when I needed a large shit during my broccoli cutting run. I literally had to bomb it away from the tractor, pull off my gum boots, socks, pants and jeans and let it out.
Broccoli Farming in Moriarty, Tasmania in 2010. Needed a huge shit during one shift!
It was quite a runny one, so I ended up dumping my pants. As the tractor came over the hill, if my work mates had glanced down they’d have seen me crouched down half naked letting it rip. There was no toilet roll so I used leaves, but not leaves that were close to the broccoli plants of course. I have a bit more decorum than that.
I left my mark in Tasmania. It was brown. My pants were also left behind.
3. The Exquisite Toilet at Cafe Batavia, Jakarta, INDONESIA
I was backpacking in Jakarta with my friends Rodrigo and Martin in 2012 and we decided to head to the quaint Cafe Batavia for beers. Martin took a piss first and came back to say that we needed to go into the toilet just to see it.
Pissing in Cafe Batavia in Jakarta, Indonesia
On the walls of the toilet were pictures of all sorts of celebrities so as you urinate you get a real experience looking at famous people. The mirrors also allow you to admire your cock while it’s squirting. There were a few naked chicks on the walls too. I didn’t linger too long though, literally went in, took a wee wee self timer photo (above), a few quick snaps then washed my hands and left. Always wash your hands.
Naked girl on the wall in Cafe Batavia’s pisser
4. The World’s Highest Wee Wee in Taipei 101, TAIWAN
In 2009, Taipei 101 was still the world’s highest building and I got a lift to the top. I suddenly needed to burst my bladder with a wee wee so I went into the toilet. I found out that at the time it was the world’s highest official toilet.
On top of the world at Taipei 101 in 2009.
Although I did question whether some mountain pissers in Bolivia, Nepal etc. might have been higher. But I stand by the fact, at the time, I was the highest person in the world urinating at that exact moment.
Highest wee wee ever in Taipei, Taiwan
5. The “Too Good to Piss on” Bog in Greymouth, NEW ZEALAND
As I backpacked my way through New Zealand in 2010, I ended up doing quite a few poo poos and wee wees along the way. But at one point, the toilet in a restaurant in Greymouth was so damn artistic and good, I didn’t want to do a poo! So basically I did part of a wee wee then transferred toilets for the big one. Can you see why? DON’T FART ON ART.
The art on this toilet was almost too good to shit on.
6. Sheldon’s “Soweto Toilet” in Soweto, SOUTH AFRICA
This is a cool one on this list actually. When I spent a brace of weeks living in Soweto in South Africa in 2011, my barman and buddy was Sheldon. He came up with a special “SHOT” called a Sowetan Toilet. Basically it was in a shot glass with yellow liquer and bit of lumpy brown and some red liquer. The shot looked disgusting but was actually world class!
Sheldon and his Sowetan toilet
The recipe is a secret from my mate Sheldon but it really looks like a toilet!
Sheldon’s Sowetan toiletSheldon and I with his Sowetan toilet shot
7. Having a Beer in a Toilet in Gasadalur, FAROE ISLANDS
Recently in 2015, I was hiking to the village of Gasadalur in the Faroe Islands. I was with Katie, a US traveller. When we got to the village of Gasadalur, we had about 45 minutes to wait for a lift back and it was the wettest, coldest and windiest day for a while. The only public building in the village was a public toilet, so we went in there and had a beer each!
Beers in a toilet
8. The Musical Toilet at Coles Beach, Tasmania, AUSTRALIA
Another entry in the toilet league for high flying Tasmania. Neither myself nor my work mate Pierre will ever forget the “Musical Toilet” at Coles Beach, or the two minute shower (barely time to get rid of the mud from broccoli harvesting!).
Our cheap shower and toilets in Tasmania
We were the cheapest travellers ever for a few months as we used to sleep by the beach here at Coles Beach and use the free shower (2 minutes of hot water only) and the free toilets. As a bonus the toilets sang! Don’t believe me, watch this video:
Other notable absentees include a toilet that I once blocked in Switzerland (really bad case of over-excretion sadly), the “willy toilet” where girls can loo through a window to see the man’s penis as he pisses in Jerusalem, Israel and a toilet in the side of the road in Armenia which was so disgusting I still smell the waft of it.
My Armenian Toilet
Also there was a crazy trip to Venice, where my ex girlfriend once took a photo of me fully nude on the toilet! What a crazy girl…I covered the bottom half of my willy to make it a bit more discreet.
I have a few good tips on doing a shit on your travels as well. It’s important to always carry toilet roll, go as soon as you need to, don’t smash a curry before a 12 hour night bus and always wash your hands. Got to cut this post short as I can feel a poo coming. Hope it’s not like one of my previous efforts…
Thats it – time for a shit. Don’t forget to flush the toilet folks!!!
Happy flushing and check out my favourite toilet videos!
Foraging For Food in the Forest of Dean in Gloucestershire, England
I recently embarked on an exciting adventure in the Forest of Dean in Gloucestershire, England. I stayed overnight in a hut in the magical forest, which is on the English side of the border, but right next to Wales. The Forest of Dean is maintained by Forest Holidays, who run 9 of these forest retreats in England and Scotland. There were so many highlights from my time in the forest and I have written about them all separately, including the night vision forest tour and the cooking lessons and stuffed partridge meal.
Foraging for food with Nick Weston of Hunter Gather Cook
After breakfast, we head out for a foraging tour of the Forest of Dean. Despite having backpacked through over 100 countries, this was the first ever time I have been on such a tour. I’ve eaten wild food on my travels of course, but we never foraged for it in a group and with such experts and enthusiastic food and travel writers from the U.K.
About to head on the tour
As well as the experts from Forest Holidays, we were joined on the tour by park ranger Gerry and expert celebrity chef Nick Weston, who runs Hunter, Gather, Cook. Gerry gave us an introduction to the forest itself, the wildlife and nature of it all. We have learnt that there are over 1,000 wild boar roaming here. We didn’t see any live wild boar during our 2 days here, but Gerry brought the next best thing – the skin of the boar.
Gerry with the wild boar skinThe wild boar skin
Nick Weston tells us his story. He was once a gourmet chef, he used to live in the big city, buy and cook his own food. Then one day he decided to live in a hut in the wild, scavenge and forage for his own wild food and cook it in the forests of Surrey. A plan was hatched, Nick then wrote a book about it and now runs the successful Hunter Gather Cook food experience – the only one of its kind in England. I actually had the joy of sharing a cabin with Nick and hearing all his stories by night. Also on the tour, and sharing my cabin was photographer Sean Tucker.
Nick and Gerry introduce themselves and the tour
We walk through the gorgeous Autumnal Forest of Dean.
Foraging For Food in the Forest of Dean in Gloucestershire, England
Nick takes us to an area with lots of leaves and plants growing in the ground. These are not the fallen Autumn leaves in the photo above, but these leaves and plants below.
We can eat some of the plants we walk on
Little known to me, but we could eat most of the leaves around us. Some tasted like apple, some tasted like lemon and there were also mint leaves and deepish rooted garlic plants. It was all news to me.
With our Foraging basket
I carried a basket (we had three baskets out of a group of 10 writers and 6 of the organisers with Sophie from Propellernet, Ruth and Michelle from Forest Holidays, Nick, Sean and Gerry). Nick and Sophie also brought their dogs along. Thanks to an electricity power cut that morning, it also meant some welcome non-WiFi time. I don’t like sitting on my laptop and mobile phone all day when we are here in nature. Yes, the cameras were out snapping, but that was it.
At one with nature in the Forest of Dean
Gerry tells us a bit more about the wildlife in these parts. How the wild boar tear up the soil which apparently is healthy for spreading seeds and helping vegetation. We are told about the different deer breeds in the Forest and in the U.K. Gerry is a vegetarian and an animal lover (alive). Nick on the other hand will hunt and cook anything that he feels will taste good – from rabbit to partridge to boar to deer. So it was a good mix.
Reminiscing of my time in South Korea with Millwall Neil – who ate the dogs out?
We then find some nettles and we mostly all get stung (couldn’t find a docken leaf to neutralise it!). It was my first time in the nettles since I was about 13 or 14 playing football down Linear Park in Bangor. We are told that you can make herbal teas and even alcohol from the nettles. We are also given a recipe for Nettle Beer!
Nick in the nettlesGetting stung in the nettles
On our continued foraging walk through the forest we find more regular food types including chestnuts (lots of them as it was Autumn), blackberries and loganberries.
Loganberries
We also find some wild mushrooms which can be used for cooking. It’s all a hole new experience for me – this is basically free food we are eating.
Foraging for food – hidden garlic
At the end of the foraging tour and when our baskets are full, it’s time to light some fires and drink some good old pine leaf tea. So we start the fires in the same way demonstrated by Nick and Gerry and there are pine trees all around us.
Lighting our fire
We have tins to put water in and we boil the water and add the pine leaves.
Boiling the pine leavesManning the fire
I wasn’t sure if I had tried pine leaf tea before. But as soon as I tasted it, I knew I had. Perhaps in Moldova, China, Taiwan and Estonia. I’d had it a few times and it tastes good.
Pine leaf tea
We all had a cup of it and then it was time to take our baskets back to the ranch after a pleasant time foraging through the forest. Later in the afternoon we got a full cookery demonstration from expert Nick on cooking a deer feast.
Slicing the partridge. Photo from Chloe at Gastronomic GormanOur prepared food: Stuffed Partridge Breast in the Forest of Dean, England
The bush skills foraging tour currently costs £10 per person and can be arranged on arrival at the forest retreat. It is fantastic fun for the whole family! Thanks to Gerry at the Forest of Dean and all at Forest Holidays for such a nice couple of days in the Gloucestershire countryside. Here are some videos from the foraging tour:
Back in 2005, two years before this blog even existed, I was in a club in London, England with my mate John Johnson. The club was the Venue in New Cross. At the time, John told me it was on the Old Kent Road and on the heat of the moment, we decided there and then to start the Monopoly Pub Crawl. It was about 3 am!
The Ultimate Monopoly Pub Crawl 2015 in London, England
Of course, the Venue isn’t actually on the Old Kent Road (it shares a corner with it), but we started there anyway and over a period of 36 hours we visited 41 squares on the Monopoly Board, having a drink in each one. It was a crazy time and I’ve yet to write about it – perhaps I never will as it’s a difficult story to remember, but we took photos on almost every street and none of it was planned. We phoned two mates – James Condron and Hazel Gordon and got them down and the four of us completed the crawl. I was the only one that actually did a pub near every square on the board, as John skipped the last three, Hazel skipped the first one and the last three and James turned up after the first two.
Monopoly Pub Crawl 2005 with Hazel and James
But this time, we are doing it for real and we’re all ten years older. It will be for James’s birthday this Saturday, 10th October 2015. This time it’s a bit better planned and thought out and we will start at 9 am on Saturday, with some rules, lots of gimmicks and we aim to visit all 41 squares over a period of 24 hours.
Monopoly Pub Crawl 2005 – Crazy days for James and I.
Here’s a rough plan of the day’s events, it will be carnage, not every square is a street, not every street has a pub, but we will get there!
Monopoly Pub Crawl in London, England Saturday October 10th 2015
ALL 41 SQUARES: 1.Go 2. Old Kent Road 3. Community Chest 4.Whitechapel Road 5. Income Tax 6.King’s Cross Station 7.The Angel Islington 8.Chance 9.Euston Road 10.Pentonville Road 11.Just Visiting 12. In Jail 13.Pall Mall 14.Electric Company 15.Whitehall 16. Northumberland Avenue 17. Marylebone Station 18.Bow Street 19.Community Chest 20.Marlborough Street 21. Vine Street 22. Free Parking 23. Strand 24. Chance 25. Fleet Street 26. Trafalgar Square 27. Fenchurch Street Station 28. Leicester Square 29. Coventry Street 30. Water Works 31. Picadilly 32. Go to Jail 33. Regent Street 34. Oxford Street 35. Community Chest 36. Bond Street 37. Liverpool Street Station 38. Chance 39. Park Lane 40. Super Tax 41. Mayfair
Planning the Monopoly Pub Crawl in 2015
A Guide to Pubs, Restaurants and Cafes on Each Square on the Monopoly Board with the ONE UNDERLINED the one I want to do, if it’s open or even still exists (the internet can be wrong):
GO (WATERLOO – TUBE AND TRAIN STATION WATERLOO) Sports Bar & Grill Waterloo (also counts for WATERworks)Unit 1 The Balcony, Waterloo Railway Station, York Road, Lambeth, London, SE1 7NY
or Hole in the Wall Pub – WATERLOO – Head to the location of GO on the Monopoly Board and collect our £200 from the Hole in the Wall pub: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7963911/Monopoly-Pass-Go-by-the-London-Eye.html Or: Go/G.O./O.G./OWN GOAL – Gin Orange, Greek Olives. GOAL of our OWN. Disappear for 10 minutes and do a pub on our own with selfies as proof.
Old Kent Road – (TUBE AND TRAIN STATION ELEPHANT and CASTLE/SURREY QUAYS/NEW CROSS )Ozzie’s Café -180 Old Kent Rd, London SE1 5TY * opens 7 am but unlicensedor Charlie Chaplin, New Kent Road at Elephant and Castle or Thomas A Beckett – 320 Old Kent Rd, London SE1 5UE or Lord Nelson – 386 Old Kent Rd or Daniels Cafe – 207 Old Kent Rd, London SE1 5NA or The George (on Tower Bridge Road) – 40 Tower Bridge Road or The World Turned Upside Down – 145 Old Kent Rd, London SE1 5UT
Community Chest 1 – dare
Whitechapel Road (TUBE AND TRAIN STATION WHITECHAPEL) The Urban Bar – 176 Whitechapel Rd, London E1 1BJ or The Blind Beggar (famous on Nomadic Backpacker site) or The Aldgate Exchange or The White Hart or The Pride of Spitalfields
Income Tax (TUBE STATION CHARI X) – count as Northumberland Avenue and Whitehall
King’s Cross – St Pancras Station (TUBE AND TRAIN STATION KINGS CROSS ST PANCRAS) The Duke of York – inside station or The Champagne Bar or O’Neill’s Euston Road
The Angel Islington (TUBE STATION ANGEL) The Angel Wetherspoons
or The Old Red Lion
Chance 1 (CHANCE STREET by Shoreditch TUBE STATION) Chance 1 will be on Chance Street, in Shoreditch. The Counter Albionor The Wallace.
Chance Street, Shoreditch, London
9. Euston Road (TUBE STATION EUSTON ROAD or EUSTON SQUARE or WARREN STREET) The Euston Flyer – Euston Road or The Rocket – Euston Road or O’Neill’s Euston Road or Euston Tap or Prince of Wales Feathers (on TCR at Warren Street)
10. Pentonville Road (TUBE STATION ANGEL) The Castle Pub – Pentonville Road or The Lexington or The Big Chill House
11. Just Visiting (ST PAULS TUBE for Newgate Street) Either – 1. We must all go into a pub and leave WITHOUT buying a drink) Any pub, anywhere or 2. Count it as one of four stops in Jail at The Viaduct Tavern is housed in an ex-prison – 126 Newgate St, London EC1A 7AA
The Viaduct Tavern near St Paul’s acts as In Jail
12. In Jail (ST PAULS TUBE for Newgate Street) The Viaduct Tavern is housed in an ex-prison – 126 Newgate St, London EC1A 7AA
13. Pall Mall (TUBE STATION CHARI X or GREENY P) The Red Lion or The Golden Lion or The Fine Wine Bar
14. Electric Company (the most difficult to crack) The Candlelight Club – a secret jazz club with no lights. Location Unknown. Electric Diner – VERY FAR AWAY. Electric Diner is located on Portobello Road; the nearest tube station is Notting Hill Gate or Ladbroke Grove. Electric Diner,191 Portobello Road, London, W11 2ED http://www.electricdiner.com/Best to wing it on the day and drink in a tent/candle lit bar
A rough guide to some of the stops on the crawl
Whitehall (TUBE STATION CHARI X) – The Lord Moon of the Mall or The Clarence – Whitehall or The Old Shades or 10 Downing Street – Have a pint with Dave and stick your dick in a pig
Northumberland Avenue (TUBE STATION CHARI X) The Sherlock Holmes
Marylebone Station (MARYLEBONE TRAIN STATION/BAKER STREET TUBE)The Victoria and Albert – inside the station or Sports Bar and Grill – inside the station or The Metropolitan Bar – Marylebone Road or The Globe or The Marylebone
Bow Street (TUBE STATION COVI G) The Marques of Anglesey
Community Chest 2 – dare
Marlborough Street (TUBE STATION OXFI C) O’Neills (Great Marlborough Street – Oxford Circus) Shakespeares Head which is on the corner of Marlborough Street and Regent Street. 29 Great Marlborough Street http://www.taylor-walker.co.uk/pub/shakespeares-head-soho/c3053/
Vine Street (PICADILLY TUBE or LESI’s Q TUBE STATION for the real Vine Street). The real Vine Street has no pubs in it – there’s another Vine Street near FENCHURCH STREET) The Emperor, 35 Vine Street, London, EC3N 2PX On the real Vine Street there are no pubs but these ones are nearby: The Gaucho Grill or Bentley’s Below or The Warwick or The Leicester Arms.
There is the Emperor Pub on Vine Street, but it’s not the Vine Street on the Monopoly Board
22. Free Parking (Any bar/café/restaurant with FREE parking for customers)
23. Strand (TUBE STATION CHARI X) Coal Hole or The Wellington or The Boadicea (at Charing Cross) or The Princess of Wales (at Charing Cross)
24. Chance 2 (CHANCERY LANE for Chance 2) Chance 1 will be at BARANIS 115 Chancery Lane London WC2A 1PP
25. Fleet Street (WALK FROM ST PAULS or COVI G TUBE) The Tipperary or Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese or TheBank of England
26. Trafalgar Square (TUBE STATION CHARI X)The Chandos – Traffy’s Q or Halfway to Heaven or The Boadicea (at Charing Cross) or The Princess of Wales (at Charing Cross)
27. Fenchurch Street Station (FENCHURCH STREET STATION) The Windsor, opens 12– 8pm: http://www.windsorfenchurchlondon.co.uk/ The Blind Beggar or The Fen or The Pitcher and Piano or Proud or The Goose (now the Windsor)
28. Leicester Square (LESI’s Q TUBE) Zoo Bar or The Moon Under Water or Any Casino or Oxygen Bar (SHUT) or Bat and Ball (SHUT)
29. Coventry Street (LESI’s Q or PICADILLY TUBE) The Trocadero or The Comedy – http://www.shepherdneame.co.uk/pubs/london/tom-cribb The Tom Cribb – 36 Panton Street,LondonSW1Y 4EA Phone: 020 7839 3801
30. Water Works (WATERloo or a pub with a VIEW of the Thames)WATERloo – Sports Bar & Grill Waterloo (also counts for WATERworks) Unit 1 The Balcony, Waterloo Railway Station, York Road, Lambeth, London, SE1 7NY or Walkabout (Embankment) or Doggett’s (Southwark) or any bar at WATERloo.
Planning the Monopoly Pub Crawl for Saturday
Picadilly (GREENY P or PICADILLY TUBE) The Blue Posts – 18 Kingley Street or The Trocadero or Henry’s Café Bar
Go to Jail (ST PAULS TUBE for Newgate Street) The Viaduct Tavern is housed in an ex-prison – 126 Newgate St, London EC1A 7AA http://viaducttavern.co.uk/
Regent Street (LESI’s Q, GREENY P, OXFI C or PICADILLY TUBE) O’Neills (Great Marlborough Street – Oxford Circus) or Shakespeares Head which is on the corner of Marlborough Street and Regent Street. 29 Great Marlborough Street http://www.taylor-walker.co.uk/pub/shakespeares-head-soho/c3053/ or Cheers (CLOSED) or The Captain’s Cabin or All Bar One (CLOSED) or Ice Bar (not on Regent Street) or Costa Coffee
Oxford Street (OXFI C or TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD TUBE) – The Tottenham or The Hog in the Pound or The Spread Eagle or The Phoenix or The Explorer or The Last Bid
Community Chest 3 – dare
Bond Street – (BOND STREET TUBE) The Hog in the Pound (possibly CLOSED) or The Hog’s Head
Liverpool Street Station (LIVERPOOL STREET STATION) Wetherspoons (The Hamilton Hall) at Liverpool Street or The Dirty Dick
Chance 3 – Chance 3 will be another dare or a second drink on CHANCE STREET or CHANCERY LANE which we did earlier
Park Lane (GREENY P TUBE) The Rose and Crown Trader Vics, Hilton Hotel
Super Tax (TUBE STATION CHARI X) – count as Northumberland Avenue and Whitehall
Mayfair – (GREENY P TUBE) Ye Grapes The Red Lion
That’s the order above that they appear on the board, but we will do them in the best order that suits. Last time, James and I finished with doubles on Trafalgar Square.
James and I on the Monopoly Pub Crawl in 2005.
Chance and Community Chest Dares Dares will take place during the day and these will count as our Community Chests and at least one of the three Chances. There is also a set of Monopoly Pub Crawl rules to adhere to, I have drafted up a copy of rules, it should be fun. Wish us luck, follow me on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and if we find anytime on the day, some photos may go up on there.
“You’ve made me look like a c*nt in front of millions” – Craig Phillips talking to “Nasty Nick” Bateman on Big Brother 2000.
Best times of my life – getting involved in the Lock In. Spot the Glentoran shirt.
As I continue to write about my journeys around the planet, there are some huge huge gaps from my adventure that are just not covered on this website, and for the lack of time may never be. Stories untold, countries I forgot I went to and arguably the craziest experience of my life was being in a mock “Big Brother” when I was based in the iconic Dorset seaside town of Bournemouth. I was a contestant in The Lock In in February 2004.
Appearing in the Lock in in 2004 in Bournemouth
“I’m voting out Lee as he showed a blatant disrespect to the Queen. The Queen of my country.” – Jonny Blair, talking about fellow contestant Lee Adams in the Lock In, 2004.
The Lock in: It’s only a gameshow
“It’s only a gameshow, it’s only a gameshow” – Big Brother Contestants, UK 2000
What Was the Lock In?
It was in late 2003 that I joined the auditions of hopefuls to become part of a new experiment called “The Lock In”, based at Bournemouth University. I was very eager and passionate to get into this mock Big Brother house. After two rounds of auditions and a rigorous voting campaign from my mate Dancing Andy (Andrew Stokes), I was voted into the house for a 3 day extravaganza and what claimed to be the first 24 hour live webcam University reality TV show in the UK. There were only 6 of us in the house. We had strict rations, games to play, a diary room and one by one we would be voted out to reveal the winner who would walk into the Student Bar on the final night.
In the diary room in the Lock In
The Lock In was just an amazing time of my life and it is where I met the admirable “Lock In Lee” Adams, who to this day is one of my best friends and a top mate. It was in the Lock In that the whole Nicky Barmby story began. I thought I would post quickly about it today as this month marks the fifteen year mark of the first UK Big Brother which was aired on Channel 4 in July 2000. A series which saw eventual winner Craig Phillips confront Nasty Nick Bateman over his vote rigging and influencing.
In the Lock in at Bournemouth University
“It’s a film about dinosaurs” – a quote I made in the Lock In
The Lock in had auditions, evictions, nominations – it was a crazy Big Brother style TV show jam packed into one weekend and the aftermath of it went on a big longer than that including my appearance at the National Student TV Awards in Loughborough in 2005.
In the Lock in in Bournemouth in 2004
Fifteen years ago I also appeared in Northern Ireland’s first “Big Brother spoof”, something which I touched on before – it was based in a nightclub in Bangor and was a bit of an anti climax. However I won’t be telling the story of the Lock In in Bournemouth on this website, saving it for the book. My new book will feature a huge chapter on the Lock In and explain how this mini reality TV show changed my life.
The famous “Lock in Lee” Adams
The Lock in Contestants from 2004 were:
1. Lee Adams (winner)
2. Paul Burr (runner up)
3. Jonny Blair (third)
4. Danni Wilson Fraser
5. Sophie Burman
6. Alex Simpson
Here is the only remaining YouTube video of the Lock In:
And the famous Craig v. Nasty Nick moment in Big Brother 2000:
“We are never gonna survive unless, we are a little crazy” – SEAL
Top 5 Crazy travel moments
I hit my 100th country this week on arrival into Tunis, Tunisia so I thought I’d simply share my top 5 crazy travel moments and highs from the journey so far as it seems the best time to do that. Plus I’ve been asked for a few of these type of posts before and never written them. These are the craziest travel activities and adventures I have had so far. The craziest, not the best or the most off the wall – just crazy times.
Crazy times at the Chilli Blue Hostel in Sydney
1. Hyena Feeding in Harar, ETHIOPIA
Quite simply this was crazy. After a death mini-bus where I thought I was a goner, a tour of the awesome walled city of Harar, dusk fell and wild hyenas were on the loose.
Living for the moment in Ethiopia feeding hyenas.
It was time to lose all inhibitions and fears and feed the hyenas mouth to mouth. A truly crazy moment. I did neck a bottle of Ethiopian red wine just before it. You can read my hyena feeding in Ethiopia story here.
A hyena jumps on my Northern Ireland flag (and my back) in Harar in Eastern Ethiopia.
2. Bolas del Fuego in Nejapa, EL SALVADOR
In 2014 when I backpacked through El Salvador I was shocked by the quantity of off the wall activities on offer and sights to see (crocodile tour, surfing, Joya de Ceren, indigo workshop etc.) But then there was the Bolas del Fuego in the town of Nejapa.
The crazy fireball festival on the streets of Nejapa
It was here on the streets of Nejapa where I watched people through fireballs at each other on a manic Sunday night in August. I have not seen anything like it, even a riot in North Belfast could not compare to this – plus this is organised and “friendly”, allegedly.
Holding balls of fire in Nejapa!
3. Bunjy Jumping in Auckland, NEW ZEALAND
Back in 2007 I did the AJ Hackett bungy jump off Auckland Harbour Bridge. It’s crazy enough doing a bungy jump but I was the only one on my party bus that was doing it, which felt more scary as the night before I had been in Los Angeles and was still jet lagged.
Once there we had the chance to go swimming, with some of the people on our boat decided to do it. I loved the freedom of it all and got my kit off in the ice cold waters. It was chilly so the girls nipples were erect and the penises shrunk, but one of the girls from Tasmania said “Jonny we could still see your willy”. They got some graphic photos which everyone on the boat saw! Once back on the boat we were given a shot of Kahlua. It was all so crazy, but inspiring.
Getting my kit off in the land down under – naked in Antarctica!
5. The Day I Lost $1000 in Vang Vieng, Laos
As Blur once said “this is a low” and probably my worst travel moment but still a crazy one so I’m including it. After a few nights out in Laos in Vientiane and Vang Vieng, my travel buddy and Belfast Boy Chaz Fitzsimmons and I decided to go tubing.
Partying in Vang Vieng with Chaz – my Belfast mate and fellow Northern Irish wanderer! Before it all went wrong…
I wasn’t well prepared and didn’t trust my hostel so I took my camera, my wallet, all into the water with me in a green waterproof bag. I lost the lot. Yes I lost $1000 in Laos’s rivers.
Having shots in the tubing at Vang Vieng – just after I had lost my camera and wallet…and $1000 USD
More crazy posts do exist on here and you can find them but I’ve been busy compiling some more for my upcoming book, Backpacking Centurion. In the meantime I’ve more travels coming up in north Africa and lots to catch up on!
“There’s a bullet in the gun. there’s a fire in your heart” – Planet Perfecto
Fire ball festival/Bolas del Fuego, Nejapa, El Salvador **
This country will test your backpacking potential, pump your smiles to a maximum and provide you with endless memories. You’ll tell everyone you’re coming to El Salvador for a few days, and like me, you’ll end up staying a bit longer as you’ll love it so much. Tales of touring Tazumal, seeing how indigo dyeing works, visiting Casa Blanca, surfing at Barra de Santiago and staying in Capricho and Ximenas as well as trying Salvadorian cuisine. However, on a dark Sunday night, on the 31st August 2014, I headed out to the barely known town of Nejapa in El Salvador. This was simply a CRAZY night.
“These are crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy nights. Oh yeah” – Kiss
The crazy town of Nejapa, El Salvador.
Here in Nejapa, a seemingly “normal” town in El Salvador becomes one crazy insane town just for a night. I headed to Nejapa for the Fireball Festival, known in Spanish as Bolas de Fuego and it was just insane, intense and unbelievable!! Photos, videos and words may never do justice to this festival, but I’ll try…
The INSANE Bolas de Fuego Fireball Festival in Nejapa, El Salvador **
Getting to Nejapa
The best option by far and the one I recommend is to go to Nejapa with Ofintour – they are an ice cool tour company based in El Tunco in El Salvador. The driver Marbel ran a minibus to the event especially for tourists – despite not being too touristy a country, our minibus was almost full for this crazy event!! The crazy ness started from the beginning.
Ofintour offer a great tour out there to Nejapa.
I was staying in Ximena’s Guesthouse in San Salvador and at 5.30 pm got a knock on my room door to say my driver was here. Marbel had driven the minibus from El Tunco, and already I had some new fiery (pun intended) travel buddies to meet and greet on board. I was on a bit of a hangover I must admit as had a crazy night out the night before (a Saturday night partying in the capital city with Ivan and Jorge my 2 new local buddies) but once in the bus, all ideas I had of sleeping or relaxing all the way to Nejapa were destroyed by my new crazy fireball buddies for the night.
Another beer at the fireball festival!
Singing alone to pumping music, chatting of surfing and suddenly we were all chatting away. A diverse bunch with more nationalities than the semi finals of a World Cup. Well let’s count them to check:
Harry from Christchurch in New Zealand
Alex from Christchurch in England
Barbara from Austria
Brian from Georgia, USA
Karol from Toronto, Canada
Monique from hey San Salvador, El Salvador
Jonny from Bangor in Northern Ireland
“Everything must burn, baby burn” – Ash
Yes – we had a team and the boys were asking “where’s the tequila”. 37 and a half minutes later we pull up at dusk in the town of Nejapa. Now my travel tales and jaunts have taken me to many parts of this ever changing world, but Nejapa pumped out a beat of insanity from the offset.
Arrival in Nejapa – festival on apparently!!
Fireworks on entrance to the town, the local lad telling us we had to move the minibus, hundreds of people piled onto the streets for a festival. The place had a buzz and you could feel it, you feel it in the air. Wo Oh, it’s a passion.
Fireball tornado – you could feel the magic in the air. **
The evening wasn’t only about fire though, there were more surprises up Nejapa’s hot hot sleeve and here’s how the evening unfolded in order…and disorder.
“You’re a monsoon and a fire all in one” – Super Furry Animals
1. The Crazy Hot Milky Shot
Walking down the street and we are asked to try a crazy hot milky shot. It’s a local mix that they add alcohol to. It’s hot, tasty and costs $1 US. As budget backpackers, we all jump in and take a cup each. It was more than a shot by the way – it’s a full cup and tasty as hell. A decent prelude to the event we’re about to witness.
With the dude who prepares these crazy shots in Nejapa, El SalvadorMy shot
“Give it everything tonight, for all we know, we might not get tomorrow” – Pitbull
All together with our shots!Hot milky alcohol mix for $1 US to get us in the mood for the Fire Ball Festival in Nejapa, El Salvador.
2. Holding Balls of Fire
Party pumped Karol from Canada goes nuts at the idea that we can hold balls of fire, so we do. Karol, Alex and I we all don some gloves and pick up some balls. Holding them in the heat against a mural that represents “92 years since the eruption”. Yes, a volcano erupted here and hence why it’s a festival of fire, known as Bolas de Fuego. As our hands burn and we enjoy our sacred moments of silliness, we get our photos taken, put our balls back down and carry on regardless. Did we just get our hands scolded by balls of fire. Yes. It was all a bit devilish and macabre.
“Goodness gracious great balls of fire” – Jerry Lewis
Holding balls of fire in Nejapa!
3. Cerveza Time
After walking down the main street (there seems to be one main street in Nejapa) we veer right to the “best pupuseria in town”. As we all order our pupuseria, the call for alcohol returns and it’s Cerveza time. 90 cents a bottle and the boys and girls are in. Clinging to our ice cold beers like it’s the last cold thing we’ll see all night. It was, fire was in the air.
“I fell into a burning ring of fire” – Johnny Cash
Beer time in Nejapa!
4. Grande Pupusas
A speciality here in Nejapa is big pupusas. If you don’t know, pupusa is cornmeal dough stuffed with cheese and other stuff. We all opt for cheese and chicharron. The pupusas go down a treat. We eat them by hand with acidic coleslaw and spicy salsa on top. Each pupusa – $1 US. A second round of beer ensues and Marbel announces, “the festival kicks off soon”. Flaming hell.
Pupusa y Cerveza in Nejapa.
“I’m the man with the Flaming Pie” – Paul McCartney
5. The Preview
We head back out onto the main strip. Even more crowds have gathered in some kind of mayhemic atmosphere that even the riots of Belfast never experienced. Fever pitch has arrived and a dude holding some kind of fire basket wanders aimlessly up and down the street. These guys are the preview for the big event. Fireworks blast off everywhere, a few people see their trousers go on fire and the crowd gets busy and lively. While all this is happening beer and water vendors walk past selling both products ice cold for $1 US. I should also point out, they walk past fire as if nothing is going on.
“I predict a riot” – Kaiser Chiefs
The preview features some crazy guys with fireworks and sparklers on their heads!!
6. The Fireball Fight
Yes, it’s a fireball fight. It’s insane. You might not quite believe it. Two teams on opposite ends of the street throw live fire balls at each other. There is no health and safety here whatsoever and the balls drift into the crowd every now and then. I kick one away a few times, another one lands on my camera just as the fight is coming to a close. There are some crazy alcohol fuelled guys who are involved and are NOT wearing gloves. They pick up and kick the fireballs with their bare hands. The fight lasts well over an hour and anyone can get involved. I have uploaded all my videos below for you to try and understand how crazy it is. Thanks to my travel buddies Alex Evans and Karol g for these quality photos…it was just INSANE.
It’s a fire ball fight!! **
“One man’s freedom fighter is another’s terrorist” – Primal Scream
Basically people dressed up in scary costumes, mostly black and reminiscent of Halloween nights fight it out with the other team by hurling fireballs at them. We were literally right in the middle of it – between the two sides. At the flashpoint. It’s an organised riot in essence.
Fire on the streets of Nejapa **
Though admittedly it’s not too safe!! There are only a few police, fire brigade and paramedics on the scene ready for any mishaps. Which thankfully, as far as we could tell, there weren’t many.
“I’m your venus, I’m your fire, at your desire” – Shocking Blue
Some of the guys involved in the fire ball fight. **
While this is a cool event to have gone to, I was so happy to meet such cool travel mates for the night, so I thought I’d let them have a sentence each on how crazy it was.
Coolest crazy travel buddies for the Fire Ball Night!!! **
Over to my travel buddies on the mayhem that was the Bolas de Fuego in Nejapa:
Karol: “I never thought playing dodgeball with fireballs would be soo much fun! Craziest thing I’ve ever done in my life!”
Harry: “A celebrated legal riot. Only thing missing was the politics. Too much fun!”
Alex: “It was thrilling having so many hot balls coming at my head”
Brian: Monique: Barbara.
Holding fireballs with Karol and the rioters!! **
Thanks to Alex and Karol for providing some of the best photos on this post (Alex is a great photographer) and thanks to Ofintour for making it such an enjoyable and crazy night.
Lines of fire on the streets of Nejapa – just insane!! **
After the firefight was over, we all grabbed a large cerveza (Pilsener for $1.50) and headed back to San Salvador in the minibus. As 80s songs from Bon Jovi pumped out of the minibus stereo we all toasted to what was simply an epic, insane and unforgettable experience. Get yourself to El Salvador and get there for the 31st August and head to Nejapa. Trust me – you will buzz off it. In the end, Karol and I had another crazy night and day of touring the Copan Ruinas just a few days later in Honduras just to top things off!
Fire on the streets of Nejapa. This is NOT Belfast, Northern Ireland.
** – Photos copyright Alex Evans and Karol. All rights reserved.
In the meantime, safe travels, here are my top 5 fire songs and all my videos from this night of heated insanity:
Ok so the story goes, in 2001, I started working for the Halifax, which was then a Building Society and later became a bank as part of the Halifax Bank of Scotland. It’s well known in the UK – the Halifax Bank. If you read a story recently about how me and my mate nicked an exam paper at school, this story tops it and bottoms it all in one, and there will be a few more to come…as I gear myself up for writing a book, backpacking into my 100th country and taking 2-3 months to chill out (it will happen).
“Death sanitised through credit” – Manic Street Preachers
So back to late 2001, I worked initially in Dundonald (Belfast, Northern Ireland) and that was mostly for training, but then we got moved to the main Gasworks call centre at the Ormeau Road in the centre of Belfast. It was a cool location and a decent enough wage. I wasn’t looking for anything major at the time though, just another job really and definitely not one I saw myself staying in…just as well as life was going to take me on another path…
“I won’t cry for yesterday, there’s an ordinary world somehow I have to find” – Duran Duran
Ouch! The Day I Got Sacked by the Bank for putting up the interest rates.
The hours I used to work were from 8 am to 4.30 pm, Monday to Friday with the odd half day Saturday, which was fairly decent as I lived in Bangor (my Northern Irish hometown) at the time, and this avoided me rush hour traffic in the morning and also the afternoon. However “rush hour traffic” in Belfast and Bangor is nothing now, when I consider the amounts of travelling I have done since to proper busy cities like Jakarta, Chongqing, Sao Paulo and Tehran.
The Halifax Building in Belfast, Northern Ireland where I once worked.
My job itself was a “Savings Sales Advisor”, which largely meant being on the phone and taking incoming calls on savings accounts, advising customers on accounts, giving out advice, interest rates and also booking appointments etc. I can’t remember everything about the job, it was all rather a flurry of a non-event. While working there I had also noticed Richard Henry worked a few floors below. I knew Richard well from supporting Northern Ireland and selling ‘Here We Go…Again’ fanzine. Chats away from the desk were few and far between. There was no unique atmosphere and no real satisfaction, other than your pay cheque once a month. It was easily the most repetitive mundane day job I have ever had (and when you consider my work history – that’s saying something). As I scratched my head each morning staring out at Belfast city (we were on the third/fourth floor with a view, I was dreaming on something bigger and better ahead. But you’d always have that bleep in your ear – a phone call came. And another one and I was busy talking nonsense about banking to people I had never, or would never meet. Phone calls were constant, all day long. What’s more is I hate phones! And I especially hate talking on phones. If I don’t see someone, I prefer to text them. To speak to them I prefer in person, or at worst, Skype.
“Bored of being bored” – Nicky Wire
I’d spend my days staring out at Belfast City
Though I did have a few friends at work and I did bond well with my team, which included the easily fanciable Lisa Rodgers (a Carrickfergus lass) and Chris Kruger (a South African). I became good friends with Chris. We were top mates – hanging out away from work, drinking down the pub, watching sport on TV, being typical lads – houses parties, karaoke, over indulgence. Good times and at one point I was going to move in with Chris in East Belfast and then something happened one day… the normal sort of thing I do as comedy became slightly more tragic. It’s only funny looking back! At the time, it was like something had ended. Actually I love the story now and why not? It was years ago and influenced my route on this planet. I still love Belfast, but only ever pass through it now on trips back to see family.
With my sister in Belfast in a more recent trip back to my capital city.
Onto the interesting interest rates story…In each group at work there was someone assigned to update the interest rates on ISAs and Guaranteed Reserve Accounts each week. They were updated on a chart in the office, on the computer system and on the website. It changed every week, there was a system and it was an extra responsibility of the people in that team to look after it. One week it was my turn and I told Chris I would play a joke. It was April Fool’s day and as an April Fool’s Day joke, I decided it would be an easy wind up to put up the interest rates (bearing in mind Northern Irish people are VERY aware of April Fools jokes and VERY unlikely to fall for them, especially since I was a bit of a joker. So I sent round a group e-mail (as a total joke) to say that what the new rates were. I made them up myself! I made up some FAKE interest rates over the range of Halifax Accounts (Liquid Gold, Current Account, ISAs etc.) I made them higher than they should have been for a bit of banter! Such comedy I thought. And anyone who knows me wouldn’t exactly take it seriously. Nobody would believe it – it was April 1st, and by 12 noon I’d take the interest rates down, tell the team it was a joke and they would all find it funny. Work was busy though, and I recall that particular day we didn’t have a second’s rest from phone calls. Because of this, everybody was work focused and in serious mode, and presumably had forgotten about April Fool’s Day. Or more than likely, they actually thought that nobody would make an April Fool’s Joke about interest rates. But I did. It was probably the most exciting thing in my time working there. The job was lacklustre and mundane at the best of times! We were even banned from looking up websites on our computers!
My manager had been off on his day off on April Fool’s Day (a dude called Eamon Somebody) and I headed out with Chris for after work drinks in Belfast (was a good night by all accounts). I stayed at his place in East Belfast as the day after was my scheduled day off that week. Chris and I were on the same team and we both loved the same music and beers. We were both off the next day.
Straight into work the next morning and after an hour or so I’m called into the office, I had forgotten about April Fool’s Day – it was now the 3rd April and the joke was over. Unfortunately the management never even thought the joke was funny, they believed it! Yes, that’s right over 95% of staff working in the Halifax in Belfast believed my fake interest rates, quoted them to customers etc. Even though it was April Fool’s Day none of them thought it could have just been an “April Fool”. I was so surprised people believed them, as I even increased the self confessed “shit account” Liquid Gold (Halifax themselves admitted the account was crap). The Liquid Gold had an interest rate of 0.5% or something and I put it up a bit – when it hadn’t moved in months. I thought that would be the one that people sussed it was a fake with. But they didn’t and so I was in deep deep trouble.
“Suddenly I’m in too deep, to ever get out. I gave you my heart and soul to keep, don’t give me your doubts” – Belinda Carlisle
The meeting started and ended within minutes, I didn’t deny anything. I admitted the whole thing as my name was on the group e-mail and I was “interest rates guy” that week. Yes – I got sacked for making up fake interest rates on April Fool’s Day 2002 in the Halifax in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Interest rates that the Halifax had to give to all customers in Belfast (and further afield actually) over the phone, who opened fixed rate accounts that day and who had maturing ISAs on that day only as long as they knew about the rates I quoted. At least until 12 noon, when I withdrew the joke, which was simply an April Fool!! It was only a joke, but it went too far.
People believed me and I was gone…soon I had closed all Halifax accounts and now hate the company. Don’t bank with them. They are the worst company I’ve ever worked for! I’ll never recommend them. Still it’s a real life story and not something I’ll hide behind a curtain. I’ll tell people about it.
I don’t do lazy and I didn’t linger on it before getting a new job. Within a week I was working for Grafton on a number of jobs such as sorting envelopes and within a month I was working in Steenson’s Butchery in Bangor, happily loving that job I must say. Things had turned out for the best for me, post “interest rates day”.
Oddly, sitting here on the east side of Hong Kong as I prepare my backpack for the big onslaught and passing of the 100 country mark, I don’t regret what I did at all. I’m not ashamed of it. I did it, it was funny at the time, worked out bad for a few months, but in the end sowed my seeds for leaving Northern Ireland behind.
I never wanted to keep the job, I guess I could have easily just resigned quietly, but that wouldn’t have made a story for Don’t Stop Living now, would it? Certainly not! This job, was my one and only banking job to date and I will never want a job in a bank again. It wasn’t for me – I’m a business backpacker now instead. Away from work, the way things happened with me, Chris and I kept touch for a few weeks (maybe months) then we just weren’t friends any more for some reason – I started plotting my path out of Northern Ireland, he was steady in a relationship and job focused. We drifted apart, however this week I’m back in touch with Chris!!
“Shed a tear cos I’m missing you, it’s alright to cry” – Guns n Roses
So similarly to the Paddy Campbell exam paper story (if you read it), this one has a more emphatic ending. I became a backpacker, Chris a family man with his son. And we’re hoping to meet up this year and laugh about all this.
“I tried so hard to get so far but in the end it doesn’t really matter” – Linkin Park
I’ve written about this 14 years on and for sure as hell closed the door on the story and on banking. If you ever get a job in a bank, take it seriously, unfortunately that’s what banks are all about.
My work mates – Chris Kruger, Leanne Cranston, Lindsay McCormick, Johnny McGreevy, Robert, Lisa Rodgers, Stephen, Justin Kilcullen.
Calls taken – Around 2,541.
Bored hours – All of them.
Months worked there – 6 months at a stretch… (November 2001 – April 3rd 2002)
Finest hour – the time on April Fool’s Day when I increased the interest rates and nobody found it funny.
Key Song – Can’t remember who sings it, but it went “In the end it doesn’t really matter, I tried so hard to get so far…” (edit – thanks to my readers I now know the song was Linkin Park)
Safe travels my friends, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…
